Tafih

I remember talking to people doing the three months-teacher-course at the Yoga Institute. More than once, the statement was made that they were amazed in regards to how many emotions they could go through in one day. And I understand where they are coming from.

 

This morning when I woke up I started the day with affirmations (a new thing I picked up (although during the last five years I done similar affirmations unconsciously, or one might say lived according to the law of attraction, but figured I give Louise Hay a try and do a set list of them first thing in the morning). This means, for me, that I start the day with love. Love and gratefulness for life, among other positive emotions. About two hours later I had strong emotions of loss of hope. Which, being me, I totally indulged in. During the day, emotions of emptiness, aloneness, meaninglessness, anger and other negative emotions and habits  got their hold of me. After indulging in my common “destructive” habits (when "feeling low") I figured I paint my emotions (since I did buy poster paints in Bombay and I it would be a shame not to use them^^) and after basically just putting different colors on a paper I decided to put words. After three words the words turned out more hopeful and positive and I cought my face in the mirror seeing myself smiling back. Suddenly I am ones again filled with love, with hope and desires.

 

During one day I gone through basically all emotions there might be, from happy as f**k to "what is the meaning of this friggin life". And what a great lesson it is since I actually just read a chapter a couple of days back about emotions and feelings. Turns out I am a real slow learner, but anyhow what better way to learn then practice!

 

Might it be that my emotions is running as crazy as when I was that teenager but that I am just now learning how to deal with myself and my emotions? Whatever it might be, I am so happy for being me, for the way I am and for the opportunity to getting to know the real me.